Here’s To New Beginnings!

Okay, so I’ve survived the first week of Mental Health and Addictions orientation. So here I am thinking to myself, that the orientation week was going to be laid back and a breeze. NOT!!! ALERT! ABORT! JUMP SHIP! Yup all of that and more. Overwhelmed would be a better word to describe my week of orientation. But the good news is that I am not the only one. Phew! So I am trying to figure out how to adjust to all of the newness. But hey I can do this! Am I just a little scared? Yup! Do I at times say to myself, “What the heck am I doing here?” Yup! Have I bitten off more then I can chew? “Not sure yet.”

So what’s the big deal you may ask? D2L, APA, WCA etc…. Change? what about it? (sounds better when you say it in a New York accent)

So I am sitting here saying to myself, wow look at all of these assignments I already have to do for next week. Time to sweep the dust out of the crevices of the old brain. I think that I am going to have to add a tetra byte of memory to the old CPU upstairs just to keep up with the demands of the program downstairs.

No one said that it was going to be easy. Well maybe I thought it would be EASIER!. Ha! Ha! I was wrong!

But I must say this, as is always the case, we have an excellent mix of people in the class. We have enough musicians to start a band. A good group of people we have indeed! All of us come from different experiences in life. Some just graduating from high school and some of us still trying to graduate from the school of life. But ALL of us are headed in the same direction. To help improve the human condition. We all strive to make this world a better place filled with compassion for another human being.

For the past month I’ve been volunteering at Our Place on Pandora. It’s been an eye opener. But not what most might be thinking. I see many people trying to better themselves. People who are trying to battle what it is they are battling. I see people who are grateful for the meals they can have, the clothes they can get, the warm showers they are able to take or just a safe place that they can be for a few hours during the day. Everyone has a story. But not too many people want to listen. Most of us are to busy judging. Too many of us just look away. Too many of us just walk on by. Too many of us just don’t care. But many of us are just one or two pay checks away from being jobless, homeless and the outcasts of society that we see on the streets. I choose to call them the forgotten ones. They’ve been forgotten by families, by friends and by society for the most part. But they are no different then you and I. They have feelings, emotions and yes, they even have a heart that beats so many beats per minute. Some faster. Some slower. Some of these people have a past. Some of them were entrepreneurs and owned successful businesses. Some worked as professionals in the business world. One thing I’ve noticed is that they do not judge each other. They all have something in common. But yes there are many who use and abuse the system. Some of them have given after many attempts of trying to get help. But only to be denied. Some have given up because of all of the red tape that they have tried to jump through to only still be denied. So some of them say fuck it!! I am done trying. Some of these people have not just tried for one day, a week a month or a year. Some have been trying for many years, but to no avail. But they still have wants and needs. But there’s are different from ours.

All of these people were born. They went to school as kids and had friends that they played with. Life was different back then. They had brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, aunts and uncles, grandfathers and grandmothers and dreams of becoming someone some day. So what happened? Where did it all go wrong? Some of them know that answer. But many are still trying to put the pieces of the puzzle that got them to where they are today.

So I guess I should just be grateful for what I am going through with the plate of hard work that is ahead of me, so that I can succeed and become a listener of their stories, so that I can try to help those who are waiting and wanting the help.

Here’s to new beginnings!!!

Peace…. Luke


Have You Been Making Your Life Harder Than It Has To Be?

Well Oscar Wilde said it best,

“Life is not complex.  We are complex.  Life is simple, and the simple thing is the right thing.”

When we were young life was easier, right?  I know sometimes it seems that way.  But the truth is life still is easy.  It always will be.  The only difference is we’re older, and the older we get, the harder we make things for ourselves.

You see, when we were young we saw the world through simple, hopeful eyes.  We knew what we wanted and we had no biases or concealed agendas.  We liked people who smiled.  We avoided people who frowned.  We ate when we were hungry, drank when we were thirsty, and slept when we were tired.

As we grew older our minds became gradually disillusioned by negative external influences.  At some point we began to hesitate and question our instincts.  When a new obstacle or growing pain arose, we stumbled and fell down.  This happened several times.  Eventually we decided we didn’t want to fall again, but rather than solving the problem that caused us to fall, we avoided it all together.

As a result, we ate comfort food and drank alcohol to numb our wounds and fill our voids.  We worked late nights on purpose to avoid unresolved conflicts at home.  We started holding grudges, playing mind games, and subtly deceiving others and ourselves to get ahead.  And when it didn’t work out, we lived above our means, used lies to cover up lies, and ate and drank some more just to make ourselves feel better again.

Over the course of time, we made our lives harder and harder, and we started losing touch with who we really are and what we really need.

If you’re nodding your head, here are some ways you’re likely making your life harder than it has to be, and some ideas on simplifying things:

1. You look to everyone else for the answers only you can give yourself. – For much of our lives – especially at the beginning – we get told what do, how to think, what looks good, what “success” is, etc.  You don’t have to buy into any of it anymore.  Feel free to peel back the layers.  Think for yourself.  Listen to your Self.  Break the mold.  When you stop doing what everybody else wants you to do and start following your own intuition, you will find exactly what you are looking for.

2. You let others make you feel guilty for living your life. – As long as you’re not hurting anyone else, keep living your life YOUR way.  Sometimes we get lost in trying to live for someone else, trying to meet their expectations, and doing things just to impress them.  Take a moment and think about it.  Are you doing things because you truly believe in them?  Remember your own goals.  Live, do and love so that you are happy, because when it comes down to it, relationships can end in an instant, but you will live with yourself for the rest of your life.

3. You allow toxic people to get the best of you. – You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life.  It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, colleague, childhood friend or a new acquaintance.  You don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small.  It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change.  But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go. 

4. You are part of the drama circle. – How would your life be different if you walked away from drama, gossip and verbal defamation?  Let today be the day you speak only about the good you know of other people and encourage others to do the same.  Those that refuse to support you CAN be ignored by you.  It’s as simple as that.  Incredible things happen when you distance yourself from negativity and those who create it.  Don’t get caught up in drama.  Just walk on by.

5. You assign negative intent to other people’s actions. – Another driver cut you off in traffic.  Your friend never texted you back.  Your colleague went to lunch without you.  Everyone can find a reason to be offended on a daily basis.  So what caused you to be offended?  You assigned negative intent to these otherwise innocent actions.  You took it as a personal insult – a slap in the face.  Don’t do this to yourself.  Don’t take things personally.  Don’t assign negative intent to the unintentional actions of others.  Let today be the day you look for the good in everyone you meet.

6. You are too worried that people will steal what you have. – Let this be your wake-up call, especially if you’re an artist, writer, entrepreneur or creative type: There is always more to be gained from sharing knowledge than from hoarding it.  Don’t worry about people stealing your work; worry about the moment they stop.  Be honest, helpful and undeniably good at what you do.  No clever marketing scheme, social media buzzword, or competitor can be a substitute for that, ever.  Whenever people want what you have, regardless of the circumstances, you’re doing it right.

7. You’re trying to compete with everyone else. – If you compete with everyone else, you will become bitter.  If you compete with a previous version of yourself, you will become better.  It’s as simple as that.

8. You have been too much of a taker. – One way to deal with stress and loss is to immerse yourself in doing good for others.  Volunteer.  Get involved in life.  It doesn’t even have to be a big, structured event.  Say a kind word.  Encourage someone nearby.  Pay a visit to someone who is alone.  Get away from your self-preoccupation for a while.  When it comes down to it, there are two types of people in this world.  There are givers and there are takers.  Givers are happy.  Takers are still unhappily wondering what’s in it for them.

9. You focus on popularity over effectiveness. – Seek respect, not attention.  It lasts longer and it’s far more useful in the end.  Do things and build things that make a lasting difference,  And above all, never confuse popularity with effectiveness.  Being popular means you’re liked for a while.  Being effective means you’ve made a difference.

10. You keep cutting corners and taking the easy way out. – Do what is right, not what is easy.  And do the right thing even if no one else will ever know.  Why?  Because YOU will know.

11. You focus on every point in time other than now. – You can’t change yesterday, but you can ruin today by worrying about tomorrow.  Be present.  Tomorrow will reveal itself exactly as it should, just as yesterday already has.

12. You are stuck on your mistakes. – It’s important that we forgive ourselves for making mistakes.  We need to learn from our errors and move forward.  Make a pact with yourself today to not be defined by your past.  Sometimes the greatest thing to come out of all your hard work isn’t what you get for it, but what you learn from it.  A happy, successful life, after all, is not a life absent of problems, but one that’s been able to rise above them. 

13. You have an “all or nothing” mentality. – There’s no such thing as perfect success, just as there’s no such thing as perfect failure.  This is why labeling things in extremes – all or nothing – success or failure – is an exercise in futility.  What does exist, however, is a continuous series of imperfect moments filled with infinite possibilities and opportunities.  Appreciate the grey area between the extremes – the journey – the experiences.  And above all, never let success get to your head or failure get to your heart.

14. You expect life to always be happy. – The world can be a difficult place.  You may experience suffering, heartbreak and loss.  These circumstances can take a toll on your happiness, but do not lose hope.  Think about the Yin and Yang in Chinese philosophy, which states that opposite forces are often interconnected.  In suffering, you can find great strength, in heartbreak you can find resilience, and in loss you can find a renewed appreciation for life.  Life is always Yin and Yang.  Opposites are interdependent and interconnected.  You can’t completely shield yourself from sadness without also shielding yourself from happiness.

15. You keep thinking about worst-case scenarios. – Sometimes your mind unnecessarily wrestles with events that aren’t even remotely likely.  Your sore throat is life threatening.  Your lost driver’s license fell into the hands of a miscreant looking to steal your identity.  Negativity like this only breeds more negativity.  It’s a happiness riptide.  It will carry you away from shore, and if you don’t swim away it will pull you under.  The bottom line is that you can see the world through a lens of doubt and despair or hope and excitement.  It’s your choice.  Either way, you will someday arrive at the same destination.  The only question is: Do you want to arrive with a frown or a smile?

16. You’re letting loss devour you. – Sometimes you have to work at happiness.  Some hurdles in life are too difficult to clear simply by adopting a positive mindset.  Do you need to forgive someone?  Do you need to let go of a failed relationship?  Do you need to come to terms with the death of a loved one?  Life is full of loss.  But, in a sense, true happiness would not be possible without it.  It helps us appreciate the good times.  It helps us grow.  If you’re struggling to see the light, you’re not alone.  Find someone who understands and talk to them.  Reach out for support.  Don’t let loss devour you. 

17. You avoid facing the truth. – The truth does not cease to exist when it is ignored.  You cannot find peace by avoiding things.  You have to feel it to heal it.  Bring your fears and weaknesses front and center and shine a blazing spotlight on them.  Because the only way out is through.  The pain of facing the truth is SO worth it in the long run, I swear.

18. You put off making decisions. – Bad decisions are almost always better than no decisions at all.  Indecisiveness just delays, while bad decisions teach us to yield better ones.  In the end, we most often regret the chances we didn’t take, the relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make.

As you know, when we stop doing the wrong things and start doing the right things, life gets easier.  It just makes sense.  So how have you been making your life harder than it has to be?   What can you do today to simplify things?

Summer Has Arrived!

Well it has definitely been a while since I’ve written anything on the Blog.

Summer has begun with it’s beautiful bright sunny day’s here in Victoria. The tourist season is in full swing with visitors visiting from many different parts of the world. Restaurants are full, the shops are busy, and yes traffic for a small place like Victoria is well…congested at times. But all in all, it’s been business as usual on our lovely Island.
I haven’t had much luck in terms of finding any work, but the good news for me is that school starts in 7 weeks.
Yup, I’ve been accepted into the the Mental Health and Addictions program and I start classes on September 2nd. Eh Ha!! This old guy is going back to school. My student loans have been approved and I am anxiously waiting to start.
It’s been a busy summer even without work. Carla and I have an exchange student from Quebec living with us for 6 weeks with the YMCA work exchange program.
His name is Danick (we’ve adopted him as our son), and he is from l’Assumption Quebec, which is a burb of Montreal in the North East Part of the Island. He is a good kid who LOVES Brownies! Carla and I have been having a Brownie competition and young Danick is the judge. Ha Ha! He always seems to like Carla’s brownies better then mine… Smart kid.
Carla’s daughter Alexis is staying with Danick’s family in l’assumption, enjoying and experiencing the culture and the language that comes along with La Belle Province. Ah real Poutines and St. Catherines street in the summer brings back many childhood memories for me. It’s been fun speaking with Danick in French, even though we are supposed to speak in English. He He! we get our French in every now and then.
So halfway through the 6 week exchange we have been very busy hosting and participating in some of the activities, as well as getting to meet other hosts and their students. It has been a great experience for everyone. The students are on an incredible journey that will provide them with friendships and memories that will last them a lifetime.
So that’s it for me today. So I would love to get some feedback from you guy’s to see how your summer has been going and what you’ve been up to.

Peace… Luke


Here is Danick… He loves Crab too, not just brownies…

What Have You Become?

Well it’s been a while since I’ve done any writing on the Blog, so here I am coming to post again…Uh Oh!

Well today is not going to be a pretty pat on the back “Life is always good.” So I know what you’re thinking. ” Man his posts have been pretty depressing lately.” Well I have to agree… But life is life, and it’s not always smooth sailing. I am not an expedition sailor, sailing for the glorious sunset with the wind at my back… I try to as much as I can keep it real… Just saying… Lately I’ve been eating a lot of humble pie… which is fine… I think we all have to eat a piece of that pie every now and then… but I guess I am going off topic here.

Have you every worked your ass off to fix something that is so bad, and try to make it good, just to be ignored, or hear the same excuses why things are not changing? Yup… I think we all have at least once in a lifetime… So what do you do to change the tide? How do you handle the, “under the radar rejection”,  in a polite way? Really? Do we have to? Should we become a rebel and put our head out on the chopping block  to try and help a situation, that no one but you cares about… So what do you do? Who do you approach? How far do you go? How much of yourself are you willing to compromise?

I am reminded of a song by Nine Inch Nails that was redone by Johnny Cash 5 months before he died called Hurt. Watch the video on YouTube… Pretty sad and powerful at the same time… but very real or should I say honest about the ordeal… The ordeal can be anything that is being compromised… Your Beliefs, Your Faith, Your Friends, Your Struggles, Your Relationships. But how much of the time do you focus on what you are really feeling? Are you being real? Are you really willing to tell the world that you were wrong? Are you ready to admit that you made many mistakes in your time here on this planet? Sometimes being truthful and honest is about being man or woman enough to admit that you were wrong, and to lay it all out there… Yup it’s hard… but being transparent about it all is a huge release… No one can ever take that away from you… Here are some lyrics from the song…

I focus on the pain… the only thing that’s real…what have I become… my sweetest friend… everyone I know, goes away in the end… and you could have it all… my empire of dirt… I will let you down…i will make you hurt… I wear this crown of thorns … upon my liars chair… full of broken thoughts … that i cannot repair.. beneath the stains of time … the feelings disappear… you are someone else … i am still right here… if i could start again… a million miles away… i would keep myself … i would find a way…

Are you finding a way? That’s the question….

Thanks for stopping by… Peace

Dealing with the unexpected. How do you?

We all have plans, wishes and expectations of how people will act or how an event, our day and our lives will turn out. Unfortunately, things don’t always work out as we hope. Too often, things seem to twist and turn in ways we did not expect or foresee.

For instance, you may find yourself caught up in a situation and find that your thoughts are racing. You’re carried away and engaged in what’s happening. All of a sudden, you’re caught off guard, unprepared and surprised when something happens or when someone does or says something to offend or hurt you. Being unprepared for the event has caused you negative stress and even anxiety. It’s important to clear you mind and think of what’s happening in the moment. Take a couple of deep breathes and shake it off by moving your body. Then react by making the necessary adjustment to deal with the situation. Being prepared would have helped you minimize the impact and change the outcome of the situation.

Each person experiences an event differently, regardless whether it’s insignificant or significant, it’s how we interpret, internalize, and how well we cope that matters. If we believe an event is stressful, it is and if we believe it isn’t, it isn’t. Regardless of the event, it’s all how we think and react to it.

Stress can be defined as anything that stimulates/changes us, positively or negatively, from our calm, serene state. Stress can range from a physical reaction to something dangerous, overworked and exhausted to your surroundings or emotional reactions concerning relationships, health or financial matters.

Any event that provoke stress is called a stressor. A stressor can be something external from the outside world or internal, self generated in the mind. An stressful event can range from surviving physical danger, making a presentation, dealing with unpleasant people to a pleasant experience or situation. It’s all in the mind.

Unexpected events and surprises often cause stress because they tend to throw the body’s stability homeostatic/equilibrium balance out of whack. The body has a network of glands and organs that need to be in a state of harmony to function well and chaos of any kind is very harmful. Confronting an unexpected situation will usually trigger our bodies into the fight-or-flight stress response. This stressful response is true for zebras, lions and humans. Unlike animals, however, we tend to worry ourselves sick with anticipation of bad things happening.  Call this F.E.A.R. False Evidence Appearing Real

Some people seem to become easily stress out about any small event or manifest stress when none exist. They seem nervous, out of control and can make everyone around them feel the same way. We all admire people who appear to be cool, calm and collected while everyone around him/her seems to be out of control. So what is the difference? Well, some of those people were born that way and others learn to be that way.

Learning to effectively manage and cope with life’s stressful events can mean the differences between being healthy and unhealthy, happy and depressed.

One way to reduce stress is to learn to expect the unexpected. Be prepared for events you planed for and those that appear without notice. Always have a plan and a backup contingency plans. Having an alternative backup solution is always good idea. Most people spend so much time stressing about things that may go wrong, things that we had not expected. We would spend that time more wisely coming up with a detailed contingency plan. Take the time to make a plan B and maybe C.

Be prepared by paying attention to your surroundings, your action and reaction. Relax and enjoy the comfort when you’re alone in your own environment. When you’re not alone or when you’re out of your environment, become more aware, more focused and activate your plan and backup contingency plans. If something seems unusual or out of the ordinary, you should wake up, come up a notch with all your senses. When you recognize something as a potential threat, it’s not as big a threat because it can’t take you by surprise. The same holds true in life. Practice such preventive behavior and you minimize surprises.

Being poised and guarded usually requires all senses to be alert, thinking several steps ahead and ready for action. This heighten state can be emotionally and physically draining which will take a toll on your body and the mind. Most situations, however, do not require that level of fight-or-flight response mode. It’s usually enough to become aware, activate your plans, remain relax and enjoy the situation.

Become comfortable in visualizing what’s going to happen and how you’ll react. If you can envision what’s going to happen, you can react to it quickly without thinking, because you’ve seen it in your mind. If you think of enough variables, you’ve covered every possibility so that nothing will be unexpected. It’s similar to play a game of chess. Play and enjoy the game but you should never become nervous and stressed out anticipating what going to happen. That’s exactly what you want to avoid.

Have a plan, contingency plan and being aware are important steps in effectively managing and coping any situation. Planning ahead, without over thinking, is always a good idea. The process of being prepared, becoming aware and having plans should always be done in a calm, relaxed and natural manner.

Achieving and sustaining a calm, well balanced state of mind may not be possible in situations where crisis needs your immediate and undivided attention. Resolving those situations may require all your time and resources. When that happens, do whatever it takes to put things go back to normal. Afterwards, take time to refresh, rebalance and rejuvenate yourself. Stressful situations that last for a long time can cause harmful chronic stress syndrome. Your health depends on whether you’re able to reduce, eliminate or effectively cope with the source of the stressor.

Identifying the stressors is key to managing stress. It’s easy to identify some stressors and difficult to identify stressors that are invisible and cloaked into our daily lifestyle. We may even believe it’s normal to always be under a large amount of harmful stress and that distress is just a normal side effect.

It’s important to take the time to look at your life and current situations. How much of your situation is the result of consciously making choices or taking positive action and how much is the result of things that happened to you that were beyond your control? Are you the victim or the cause of the problem? It’s most probably a combination of both scenarios.

Having a clear understanding of your role, responsibilities and expectations will help you cope in any situation. It is sometimes difficult to see and accept that you’re the cause or that your expectations, action and reactions can make a difference in how an event plays out.

If you’re the type of person who blows up or lose your patience easily, then you need to lower your expectations and accept that you’re, at least, partly responsible for causing the problem. Even if you’re not the cause, you probably can handle the situation better, minimize the problem and avoid negative stress. When a situation arises, think about if you are ready? Do have an action plan and a backup plan in place? Did you react correctly? If you reacted differently, could you change the outcome situation? How’s your self-control? It’s your responsibility to be aware of your role, action and reactions in any situation. How you doing?

Consider sitting down and making a list of events, people, phrases or circumstances that cause you to lose your patience, you cool. Things that make you feel anxious, worried, or unhappy and those that cause you anxiety, tension, or frustration. Look for and pinpoint what triggers and patterns sets you off in each item on the list. Being aware and being prepared can help reduce the frequency and the impact it has on you.

The thought or feeling of change or losing control can be a significant stressor for a lot of people. There is often a choice to let go of trying to control everything, or do all that we can to prepare. You might be surprised to find that accepting things, being flexible and letting go can change your perspective on your reality. Accept the twist and turns in life gracefully. This applies not only to circumstances, but also the behavior of those around you. Instead of getting stressed and upset, allow yourself to roll with the punches when something you have no control over happens. Stuff will happen. The question is how will you internalize, interpret and react to it. We’ve all experienced the unexpected. Give yourself a break. If you accept that anything can happen at any time, it’s less likely it throw you off your stride when it does. Just be able to adjust your game plan accordingly.

Believing that people, situations and things are perfect is a recipe for failure. Expecting the world to run smoothly is like beating your head against the wall. You can’t really control people or situations but you can use self-control. Remember that people, including you, are not perfect and that stuff will happen. Stop holding yourself and the world around you to unreachable standards. Without realizing it, we set ourselves up for problems and disappointment by expecting too much. Do we expect our family and friends to love us unconditionally, to know and do exactly what we want, when we want it? Maybe we believe that life will always treat us fairly. Do we feel cheated, slighted, unlucky, disappointed or depressed when things don’t turn out as we expected? Does the disappointment cause us stress, tension or anxiety?

The objective is to do these things while remaining calm, relaxed, content, joyful, and take full advantage of what matters most in life. Be prepared but also go with the flow. keep learning and making adjustment toward reaching and sustaining a well-balanced, enriched and fulfilled lifestyle.

Accident Saturday

Well this morning I started of my day off in a good mood… Got up early and by 8:00am I was doing the weed wacking with the new trimmer and cleaned up the backyard. Once that was done, I decided to go to Save on Foods… Maxwell House 925 Grams Rich Dark Roast Coffee was on sale for $6.99. So I go there, buy my coffee, and a few other items and start walking back home. So I am walking down Foul Bay Road, about half  way home, I hear a car speeding by me and someone saying,  “Dan the walk,” and another voice say, “Fuck,” and the next thing I know  I’m on the ground. i hear a couple of people say, “Do you beleive that?” and another voice saying “Are you guys okay?” A bit dazed I look up and say,  “I think so”, but then I look to my left and here are 2 guy’s on the ground holding on to their bikes. So I say, ” fuck what just happened?” One of the guys on the bike says,” that fucking mustang cut us off and we had to hit the sidewalk to avoid hitting him.” (I find out later that his name is Bruce)The other guy,  “say’s sorry dude.”  So to make a long story short the guy driving the mustang never stopped. Some neighbour’s witnessed the whole thing. the cops came, the ambulance came, and we all survived the ordeal… Dan, Bruce, and I have some scrapes and bruises. We exchanged numbers, Police report numbers, and now I am at home feeling all of the aches and pains creep up.

What started out as a good Saturday is now ending up as a Sore Saturday…So I get a ride with the cops home cause my ankle is sore, bruises and scrapes from the bikes on both my legs.  I’ve gotten to know the Oak Bay police because of my many calls to them, working on the issues of the building. Anyways they are looking for Mr. Mustang. Then I go crap ! I forgot to buy cream for the coffee… Yup you guessed it, I go back and walk to Save On Foods to buy some cream… Limping I did do!!Yup it was a long walk… So I’ve decided to post my injuries as they progress. I have them on my phone, but, what the heck I might as well have some back up on the site… I can deal with the foot and the scrapes, but now my back and left knee are starting to tighten up… Great… Just Great.

I would say enjoy the pics… but whatever… I really miss my Lady Friend!!!!.. Boy do I ever have ugly hairy legs   🙂

   Image Image  Image



I Wish I Could Take It Back

Well the last 4 days have been…well pretty shitty and I have no one else to blame but myself… I said something to someone very dear to me that I wish I could take back… I am not going to make excuses… why bother? I was wrong!! It not only affects the person that I hurt but it also affects other people… But how do you take back the words that so stupidly came out of my mind into a text? You can’t. It’s too late! The words are gone forever… Like a slow motion scene from a movie… you can see it happen but there isn’t a thing you can do about it! Do I feel like shit? Yup! Am I ashamed? Yup! Do I regret it… I do!

Can’t sleep, my appetite sucks… Yup I deserve how I am feeling. Depressed… Yup I am… We all make mistakes in this life… But even though I know that, it doesn’t help. I know I hurt some people and it hurts me to know that I did. I am really not the kind of person that goes around saying stupid things that hurt people. I wish I could take this size 10 shoe, take it out of my mouth, and kick my ass with it up and down Oak Bay Avenue for the world to see… But I know that won’t happen… I’ve said I was sorry and ask for forgiveness, without a response… But that’s okay… I deserve it… Do I wish that certain person reads this blog? I do… But I think that won’t happen. Even if she does… I don’t think it will happen. I can only hope she does. As I am typing this I am reminded of that Monopoly game that I had with my grandmother and I am thinking to myself… I didn’t learn a thing now did I… She wouldn’t be too proud of me. I don’t feel proud of myself either!!!!

She certainly didn’t raise her grandson to be disrespectful. The tongue is a double edged sword that hurts more then physically hurting someone, or in my case the texting. I am trying to wrap my head around why one day I am telling someone how special she is to me and the next I do something stupid like this?

That’s all I for tonight.



Happy Victoria Day

HAPPY VICTORIA DAY!! So here we are in Victoria BC, enjoying our holiday named after the city we live in… How cool is that? So as usual I am sitting here with a bunch of decisions to make. Like every human being on this planet of ours, I have to decide what to do about certain areas of my life. So,  I have decided to research the successful persons point of view.. Here we go… this is what I’ve found

Decisions successful people make every day

1- They don’t allow people to define them.
2- They create a balance that works for their life.
3- They appreciate what they have.
4- They live in the moment of now.
5- They learn from their failures and try again.
6- They work with integrity.
7- They don’t get caught up in the emotions.
8- They stick to a developed plan of action.
9- They accept responsibility for their actions.
10- They have a true belief that they can accomplish what they put their minds to

So there it is… Number 7 can be a tough one for me, especially when you are passionate about something/someone… What is your issue from my top 10? I would love to here from you…

Have a safe and happy Victoria Day… Peace!

Obstacles… What Are They Good For?

So as some of us know,  I’ve been going through a bit of a rough spell with my part time job, lack of sleep etc… I have such a wonderful girlfriend who can read my like a book, and who is always there for me. Babe… I love you!!! So after our short visit I go to check my mail and out of the blue here is the “Letter To Ourselves”, that Diane asked us to write to ourselves. Wow!!! Talk about perfect timing… then tonight I am going through some paper stuff and I come across the notes that we all wrote to each other at our Grad party… Wow again the timing was perfect… I re-read all of the notes from everyone and well This BIG guy… Yup… I’ll admit it,  shed a few teardrops… Thanks again for your kind comments and observations. So now I am re-energized and focused about balancing and getting things done in my life… Who would of thought that a letter to myself and notes from pretty much complete strangers, when you consider we were only in class for 8 weeks, would have made such an impact in this simpletons life. Well it has… So today I would like to talk about… OBSTACLES..

So sometimes some things block your path in life and hold you back. Often the very things that limit us, help us to find a better way to do things, or make sure we truly want to work for the goals we have set for ourselves.

So knowing a few facts about the obstacles in your life … the ones that block your path, thwart your efforts and demand that you stop and think … might help you understand the roles they play in your life and work for, instead of, against you.

When encountering an obstacle, remind yourself that obstacles are not your enemies. Instead they are your teachers ..

Obstacles, by their very nature, challenge you to grow, change and adapt.

Whether they arise from your personal past or are part of the life path you have chosen, obstacles are good for getting you out of old habits, teaching you about the way the world works, and making you grow stronger and more flexible. We all hope our life will be a “cake walk”, but your obstacles make you work for what you want and keep you fit and healthy in the process. Life can be either a merry-go-round or a roller coaster — you can either keep going around in circles or take a ride with lots of ups and downs.

Many things stop or delay you on your journey through life. Yet behind every hurdle, there is a reason for its existence. Sometimes high walls keep you out of dangerous places. Sometimes they are just opportunities to learn what a ladder is for.

To turn obstacles to your advantage, you need to see the reason behind the obstacle as well as the opportunity it brings you. That opportunity can be to learn something new, develop a latent skill, or find a better way.
Obstacles naturally arise to keep you in balance as you open up to change.

Just start to think seriously about making some changes in your life and suddenly obstacles can appear overnight. Often obstacles make you slow down or stop so past unresolved issues, obsolete perspectives and outdated ideas can take center stage to be resolved.

Fighting your way through obstacles tests your resolve and prepares you for the new reality you want to create in your life. The old saying is “be careful what you wish for”. Obstacles can be a blessing in disguise by acting as a natural form of resistance to keep your life in balance. Without it, you might hurtle at light speed into the things you want.

By having to slow down to get around the road blocks and speed bumps of life, you have time to make sure you wholeheartedly want to arrive where you are headed.

The very things that slow you down can help you choose the right path.

Sometimes, obstacles make you change course or rethink your approach to a person, issue, or next step. They can often work as guides pointing you, if you are willing to listen, in the direction of a better path.

But sometimes, they are just like a porter on a train, checking to make sure you have the right ticket and are catching the right train.

Ok  that’s about it… you guessed it… I think?

Thanks again for stopping by… Peace